Sleeping or Speaking?

Lately I don't know where I have been, and lately I'm not sure if i have been actually speaking or not. The words reverberate around my ears and through my seamless empty head, but do they actually leave my mouth? do they actually grace other people's ears? I think it's because I induce artificial night upon myself when I really should be opening my mind as well as my window to all around me; but why though? I feel pretty happy sitting in my silence that I'm not sure that actually exists or not. When I dream it feels like someone is standing on my throat, but this feeling is a strange sensation, it feels like I am drowning in my REM and as the my eyes role back into my head, my tongue is free and runs like a stallion through feels of flowers and rape. But once again, am I actually speaking? or am I sleeping. Am I still thinking about the times I used to run with your crowd before you even knew their names? Or am I still finding my self in this medium of slumbering sickness as an alternative to absolute health? Maybe I should just keep my gold in my heart, and my diamonds in my mind. Maybe this why I still can not speak of my trapped slumber? The diamonds on my mind may serve as fruit i wish to pick from my labour but is my labour really worth the time and effort I bestow upon it? This always happens, like a death-wish a wise man makes for the love of his brother; and once again my arteries are open, unlike my mind.